Michelle Anne Ttoffali’s Eulogy – by her husband Chris Ttoffali Michelle was born in Forest Gate, on 13th September 1969. She is the eldest child to Christine & Peter Cassidy, who also have two sons Mark & Terry. Michelle grew up in the East London borough of Newham, and often talked about her happy childhood memories. With Christine and Peter having a total of 14 brothers and sisters, Michelle grew up alongside her 32 cousins. She would often reminisce of the times playing with her cousins, while enjoying great food made by her Nanny. At a young age, Michelle had already developed her ability to persuade others to do things, often for her own amusement. This included convincing Mark that he could fly if he jumped off the top step in their house. Fortunately, mum was able to stop him from jumping just in time. Mark must have still been convinced he could fly. What other reason could there be for Mr Health & Safety conscious, Mark, falling 20 feet from a tree. Michelle was naturally very intelligent. Michelle used her intellect to deal with bullies, and succeed at school while having fun. Michelle knew the importance of school and her desire to learn, work hard, plus her love of reading, art & craft, resulted in her being one of six in the whole academic year group that left school and went on to study at University. It was at school where we met. In the early school years, I didn’t speak with Michelle. Suppose I was following the Governments, 2 metres social distance guideline, years too early. Steve Swaby and I would often sit on the desk behind or in front of Michelle during our History classes. The person sitting next to Michelle would break out in fits of laughter by something Michelle had said that always surpassed Steve’s and my private jokes and laughter. It was just before we were due to sit our O levels (equivalent to GCSE today) that we had our first proper conversation. Her friendliness and warmth left me with the desire to get to know her better. Fortunately, we both stayed on at the sixth form where our friendship flourished. We both helped run the sixth form snack bar. As you can probably imagine, letting Michelle loose in a snack bar, gave Michelle great joy in devising eating and drinking challenges. It is amazing what a smile and a friendly face can achieve. We would often go out as a group at weekends. We crammed in to Michelle’s light blue mini and frequented local pubs that would serve us. Friends would often try to encourage Michelle to drink alcohol. Michelle was strong willed and advised how she didn’t have to drink to enjoy herself. She was right. A night of Michelle and Tonic was more fun and memorable than drinking yourself in to a drunken stupor. On several occasions, our school friends and I would visit Michelle’s house and attend her family parties. Michelle’s whole family were very welcoming and hospitable to any friends Michelle, Mark or Terry brought home. It was clear to see that Michelle’s values and good character personality traits ran in the family. Michelle has tried to instil those same values and personality traits in Sia & Lydia. Between 1988 – 1992 Michelle studied for a Bachelor of Education specialising in English at Reading University. I remember accompanying her on her first day. Not only was Michelle apprehensive about stepping in to the unknown she had the added nervousness that she was going to have to live in a shared room for a year with someone she had never met. We arrived before her new roommate, both of us speculating what her roommate was going to be like. We didn’t have to wait long for Dawn to make an entrance in traditional Dawn style. I am not sure if the University had developed an Artificial Intelligent system, but somehow they put two people together that were like 2 peas in a pod. They formed such a special friendship that Michelle always said, “Dawn is more than just a friend”. Our condolences and thoughts go out to Dawn, as Michelle passed away, just over a week after Dawn’s father passed away. After graduating, Michelle taught 5-11 year olds initially in Berkshire and from 1995 in Cornwall. It didn’t take long for her inspirational teaching talents to be recognised and she was promoted to Deputy Head and Head within a couple of years of starting her teaching career. Her smiley face, enthusiasm, originality, storytelling, passion for teaching, support and encouragement helped develop children became the best that they could be. Lydia & Sia often asked Michelle to re-tell the many stories she had about the children she taught in Cornwall. Michelle’s career progressed as a Professional Development Adviser within the Education sector. She would create and deliver training to teachers and head teachers. Initially she worked for Cornwall Council and from January 2006, for The London Borough of Southwark. It was while working at Cornwall Council where Michelle worked with Sonya and they became very close friends. That friendship has extended within our families and the Herberts have made our holidays in Cornwall extra special and memorable. In advance of Michelle starting her new job for Southwark Council she moved in to a flat 2 minutes’ walk from my house near Blackheath in South East London. Her style and obsession with cleanness made her rented flat very homely. The owner sold the flat within months of Michelle moving in, and thanked Michelle for making it look, so nice, as he struggled to sell it previously. After, what Michelle called her trial period when she moved in with me, we got married in the Greek Orthodox Church in Leyton on 28th May 2007. 2007 was a special year for us. Dawn and Julian, plus Mark and Katherine got married and Michelle became pregnant with our first child. Michelle and I have two girls, Anastasia (known as Sia) who is 12 and Lydia who is nearly 9. In between their births, we moved to Upminster where we live today. Michelle is a great mum and used her strengths and experience to help our girls grow to be the loving, caring, intelligent girls they are today. Michelle reminded the girls, to always smile. If you smile, the world will smile with you. To always, treat people in the same way that you would like to be treated. To always, be grateful for what you have, and what you receive. She is also the fun, loving aunty that our niece and nephews loved to be with. Michelle’s smile, ease in chatting, and taking an interest in others was like a magnet that attracted people towards her. She was the instigator to our family making many great friends in Upminster that have helped us through this difficult period and I know will continue to help us. She even took over the friendship rights of my University friends, Debs & Jen. I would sometimes come home from work and Michelle would inform me that she had lunch with Debs and Jen. She would update me on their news, oh and by the way, they said hello. In October 2015, Michelle was diagnosed with Metastatic Breast Cancer, which currently, cannot be cured. On initial diagnosis, it had already spread to Michelle’s bones in her spine and ribs. We informed the girls within days because if we weren’t open and honest with them how could we expect them to tell us anything that is on their mind. Michelle kept the girls informed throughout her treatment and would openly talk about the possibility that one day she may not be with us. At the same time, Michelle created a positive environment and she isn’t one to give up easily. She carried out her research, bought a library of books on things that she could do to compliment traditional medice, to fight her cancer. She changed her diet. Spoke with specialists that provided advice on natural products and supplements. As well as training her mind to ensure that mentally, she could fight the cancer and cancel out her negative thoughts. Michelle’s fight with cancer has been an inspiration on appreciating what you have in life, to work hard and aim to achieve what you want, and to never, ever give up. In her own words “Live a life of fulfilment and do the things that bring you joy”. This is a poem for my wife Michelle (Ttoffali) Thank you for your wonderful smile, as warm as a sunshine ray Thank you for the laughter, and all the lovely things you used to say Thank you for your unconditional love, that helped me through each day Thank you for our beautiful daughters, who remind me of you, in every way Thank you for the meals you cooked, although some, we had to throw away Thank you for each day you lived, “Please god give us another day” we’d pray Thank you for making our house a home, where we all love to stay and play Thank you for inspiring our daughters, to do their best, come what may Thank you for the wonderful holidays, despite some being very grey Thank you for listening to my stresses, and reassuring me, it will be OK Thank you for taking me out for dinners, even though I had to pay Thank you for the memories that will never ever fade away Goodbye my love, until we meet again someday, in Heaven Café.